The Barney song Remade by the Konoha Kids
by GypsyMagick
Summary: Sasuke, Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru and Chouji hate the Barney song. When they are made to listen to it, what will they do?


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Nor do I own Barney (THANK GOD!). I don't own that song, aside from the kunai bit. I don't know who made it up, but I congratulate them. Nor do I own the Tellytubbies (Again…Thank God)

The Barney Song: Re-made by the Konoha kids

"I love you,

You love me

We're a happy family" the purple dinosaur on TV was singing. The little boy watching it scowled. Why was he made to watch such stupid programs? Why couldn't he watch a film about a murder? _Kami_ knows he needed to learn tips on how to kill.

"With a great big hug" the dinosaur continued.

'That squishes you to death' continued Sasuke mentally.

"And a kiss from me to you"

'Yuck' Sasuke mentally retorted

"Won't you say you love me too?" the dinosaur ended

"No! I hate you, you overgrown purple dinosaur!" Sasuke yelled, forgetting to do so in his head. The _sensei_ ran over to the six year old to make sure the Uchiha orphan was ok. He glared at his _sensei_, who refrained from touching the Uchiha.

The _Hokage_ had decided that once a week all the Academy students would be allowed a free day in school and would be allowed to do what they wished in their own "Hobby Room". Whereas the twelve year olds were allowed to sharpen weapons and practice their _jutsus_, the six year olds were made to play with building blocks, dolls and watch silly programs such as "The Tellytubbies" and "Barney". Sasuke hated it. And he wasn't the only one. The other boys hated it too. The girls didn't mind. They were happy playing 'Happy Families' with their dolls, making them get married and have kids and live happy little lives. Lives where your older brother doesn't go insane and kill every member of your family, excluding only himself and yourself.

"Kami I hate Barney" Kiba said

"I hate the way he speaks" Chouji said, munching his crisps.

"Yeah! And that song! It's awful!" Naruto half-yelled

"If you hate it so much, then change it….troublesome people" Shikamaru said

"Ah! It's on again!" Naruto yelled. The _sensei_ glared at Naruto, but as usual Naruto ignored him.

"Troublesome dinosaur" Shikamaru commented

"And why is it purple?!" asked Kiba heatedly

"Let's make up a new song as Shikamaru said" Shino said to the boys

"OK. Instead of 'I love you' we say the opposite" Shikamaru said. The boys nodded.

"I hate you

You hate me" Naruto sang experimentally, "Sounds good to me"

"Something that rhymes with 'Family'" Kiba said

"Barney" Chouji offered

"But how do we make a sentence ending with Barney?" Naruto asked

"I hate you Barney?" Kiba offered

"No. The first two verses have hate in them. What do we want to do to Barney?" Shikamaru asked.

"Kill him" Sasuke retorted. The others looked at him.

"Yeah!"

"Let's all go and kill Barney" Kiba continued

"What shall we kill him with?" Shino asked

"A kunai" Chouji said

"Hold a kunai to his head" Shino continued their song

"Stab him till he's dead" Sasuke continued from where Shino left off.

"Now that's…"Shikamaru started

"All been…."Chouji continued

"Done and said!" Naruto ended

"Yeah! A new theme song" Kiba punched the air with his fist, "Let's put it all together!"

"I hate you,

You hate me,

Let's all go and kill Barney,

Hold a kunai to his head,

Stab him till he's dead,

Now that's all been done and said!" The boys sang, to the amusement of the other students, who picked it up quite quickly. The _sensei_ wasn't pleased. Nor were the parents who had to listen to their kids singing it over and over again. The _Hokage_ liked the song at first, since he too hated Barney, but in the end had to ban it due to complaints. He had to also stop the 'Hobby Time'. But he still hummed the song when doing paperwork, occasionally changing the name 'Barney' to whoever had annoyed him that day.

See what exams do to you? Yeah, at the moment I'm doing my O-Levels and am _supposed_ to be studying. But really, I prefer to write Naruto stories than study Math (which I suck at). Suggestions welcome!


End file.
